New York Times article about marriage questions
I found this interesting list of questions in a NYT article....here's the link to the site
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/fashion/weddings/17FIELDBOX.html?em&ex=1166590800&en=829925f78cf9dde6&ei=5087%0A
and here are the questions (you have to register for NYT and even though it's free, i thought i'd post the questions so you don't have to bother).
December 17, 2006
Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying
Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:
1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Do each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
Are there any here that weren't covered in the book? i can't remember. I don't remember seeing number 13 in the book, but i could be wrong.
posted by Butch @ 2:21 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I love #4... I think that's a question skiped when women get involved with men in Jail (example the Menendez brothers).
I like number 7. We don't have one and it's never even been brought up.
number 4 is also difficult if you're a cumpulsive liar :)
All good and valid questions. You have to be nuts to even consider getting married if you haven't in some way at some point disucussed these.
That's why I'm shocked at people who date for 2 weeks then get married, or 2 months and then get married. If you've been friends for years prior to that, then you are exempt, but to meet someone and get married 2 weeks later is crazy.
I'm not suggestion that people should date for infinity like Steve & myself, but you need to be able to talk about such things candidly and openly, and then talk about them again as time goes on as your opinions & circumstances change.
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